


Beware of the Dogs

by consultingidjits



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Romance, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, During Canon, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi-centric (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, Major Original Character(s), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets Spoilers, Slow Romance, Tea Shop Owner Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29553663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingidjits/pseuds/consultingidjits
Summary: Levi Ackerman visits his hometown in the Underground at the end of every year carrying a tin of ginger peach tea. The tight alleyways and rank tunnels make him remember the times he'd been able to weave through them with ease. Now, he's older, tired, bones aching - and the only good night's sleep he gets is when he visits the woman living above the tea shop.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Original Female Character(s), Levi Ackerman/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i'll be tagging as i go!)
> 
> just caught up with aot after years of not watching and it brought back memories of how much i thirsted over levi whew!... anyways this chapter is mostly exposition & discusses the OVA too so i highly suggest watching it before reading bc of spoilers!
> 
> (title is based off of the song Beware of the Dogs - Stella Donnelly)

One day he'll stop coming back here like this.

"And where'll you be staying, Captain?" one of the guards asked. Levi put his signature at the bottom of the form he'd been given.

Ever since the Scouts encountered the Female Titan in the forest, there had been tighter security between town borders to make sure there'd be no one slipping through. Erwin insisted that only a handful of people know the true reasoning behind such high security, but Levi knew it was useless seeing as the guards put on duty wouldn't even know what they were looking for.

"Why're you asking if I have to write it down?" he asked, a slight frown starting to form. The guard straightened up and shook his head.

"Yes, of course," he said, a little more quietly. Levi handed him the paper with his information on it. The guard that was checking his bag gave him a funny look about there only being one change of clothes and a bronze tin of ginger peach tea inside. It was short lived, dying out when he saw Levi scrunch up his nose in annoyance.

"This too?" another one of the guards asked, handing off a wooden firewood carrier to the bag check.

"What d'ya need all this wood for?" the bag check guard asked as he sorted through the wood and inspected the frame. His voice played it lightly, and Levi already had a distaste for him, knowing he was only pretending to know what he was doing. Who knew how he handled his actual duties?

"It's winter."

Good firewood was hard to come by, especially during this time of the year when the Underground merchants would upsell wood from above. It was one of the many necessities of living below the surface, and the hacks that upped the prices during the winter knew that well.

The bag check guard chuckled. "Don't need much of a fire when you've got company, eh?" He pushed the collection of wood over the table to be picked up. Levi frowned, letting the implication sit for a moment.

Surpassing the firewood merchants, the Underground relied even more on its steady flow of people looking to fill its inns and its women. Being on the receiving end of this was a matter of survival - a way to make ends meet, and he's had his fair share of needing to get by. In the end, he decided to keep quiet, slip the carrier onto his back, and proceed through the entrance's threshold.

One thing that never changed each year he visited was the smell. He remembered that summer heat would make it worse and their eyes would start to burn from the saturation. The Stairway was the same as ever, old stone, practically new with how little use it got over time. He wondered if there would ever come a time when repairs were necessary.

Levi walked through the town, but the further he got, the more the streets slimmed up and walls brushed against his shoulders. Eventually, he had to walk at a diagonal to pass through and he could feel the time he spent away from this place weigh him down.

His injury from their last mission left him stepping awkwardly, trying not to put too much pressure on it in case he was thrown into the field once he reported back. Especially with how close they were to discovering who the Female Titan was, he could feel something dark looming on the horizon. That's why he needed to come back, despite Erwin's order to stay off his feet. He started to think he should've listened this time, as he felt the leg beginning to swell at his ankle.

 _Pavlov's dogs_ , he kept thinking, remembering how Hange explained it to him. How a scientist had once done an experiment with a group of dogs and saw that their mouths salivated every time they saw him, their bodies remembering it was him that kept them fed.

Last time coming down, he remembered his arm was broken - this year, he'll remember the strain on his leg - next year, it'll be somewhere else, maybe he'll even be dead. Maybe when he finally visited here unscathed, he'd still feel a pang of something in his bones, the body remembering this place for that ache.

No matter. Here, he'd get a full night's sleep, which surpassed the two hours he got in his apartment above ground. And it would be a big improvement from being constantly checked in on at the barracks.

For now, all he could hope for was the shop still being there at the end of the road. Through all these twists and turns, at the furthest building from the Underground's entrance, Celeste was probably starting to close out all of the customers for the day.

Levi scoffed to himself as he passed through a particularly narrow alley, remembering that it was the guards that held him up with their feigned sleuthing through his things. He breathed a mental sigh of relief when they left the tea tin unopened, but he'd probably have to have a word with someone about their incompetence.

Water in the Underground left something to be desired. In his own words, it was filthy. With that, most people turned towards tea as an alternative, though even that was a luxury sometimes. Tea shops became common, most existing closer to the entrance due to the heavier traffic and the inflow of tea merchants from above.

Celeste's dream was to open a tea shop for the people in their neighborhood, where many couldn't afford the tea sold on the other side of town and where the water was significantly worse than it was out front.

And like the rest of the children that grew up in the Underground, they learned how to survive quickly. They took what they needed from the merchants, stole ODM gear to help them with it. Levi was the quickest to get the hang of the pull of the wires and the fastest in and out of each job, leaving messes of supply crates for the others to snatch that week's the haul from.

Furlan, a boy his age, assumed the title of leader, managing to split all of their spoils fairly within the group. _He's too soft_ , Levi thought. But he admired that part of his friend, as frustrating as it was. At one point, he'd given up a little of his cut to one of the boys in their group, reasoning that he needed it more than he did. He didn't say anything to that. Only thought: _we'll never make it up those stairs this way_. It didn't matter, they'd find a way around Furlan's crippling generosity.

Both Furlan and Levi were forced to join the Scouts a year later - a job within a job. Levi doesn't like to talk about it. He doesn't like to remember the allure of that job's reward, how completing it would mean citizenship for him and Furlan above ground. It wasn't for all of them, but it was enough that it would be easier to get the rest of their friends to the top than if they refused. They would feel the sun on their faces, see the sky for the first time. Night wouldn't be the black abyss of the Underground's ceiling.

But until then, Furlan and Levi kept their mouths shut and joined the Scouts. Not a hard thing to do when their leader, Erwin Smith, was the one to catch them using stolen ODM gear. He offered them the choice of either being sent to their deaths in the capital for this crime or joining his Scout Regiment.

Levi had Erwin all figured out when they finally came face to face. He was a man caught up in his role, dedicated fully to whatever he was fighting for. He was fascinated by Levi's proficiency in their gear despite no formal training, offering them passage to the surface if he was willing to teach the other Scouts how he worked. But the people of the Underground weren't known for their trustworthiness and Levi knew that recklessness in the name of whatever cause he served would get him killed one day.

They year they left, Celeste turned towards more honest work, as honest as one can get in the Underground, holding onto the idea of a shop. It was only a few years ago that she managed to get her own space, officially opened for business, and her letters admitted that she still hadn't gotten used to running everything herself.

Levi smiled a little at the opened doors of the shop. There wasn't a shop sign, which he'd have to remind her to fix if she's ever going to call herself a legitimate business. For now though, it was exactly as he remembered it. Between the sounds of customers bumbling inside, he heard Celeste taking orders and running about by herself to keep up with them.

He entered without greeting and found a seat near the back of the room. The firewood, he tucked under the table and he sat patiently for the customers to leave for the day.

"You think you could sneak in without me seeing?" he heard someone say in front of him. His gaze turned up and he realized Celeste had been standing there a while, wiping down the table adjacent to his. "You're carrying all that wood, you look like an old lady," she said and picked up her serving tray. One of the customers waved her down from the other end of the room and she obliged.

Levi held back a smile watching her work. The quiet walk towards the shop always made him tense - he suspected the worse - that maybe she was lying all this time about doing well to ease his conscience. But seeing her now, he was relieved - that despite all that frazzled hair and crumpled clothes, she was okay.

Eventually, they were the only two remaining in the shop and Levi made sure to double check the lock on the front door before leaving it for the night. Celeste rolled her eyes seeing him do it.

"You lost, or what?" she asked, arms elbow-deep in the wash basin to reach the remaining cups at the bottom. "Everyone here's too old to break in," she reminded him.

"Don't be an idiot," he said. "People find ways. And when you-."

Celeste sighed. "You've had all year to worry. Can’t you relax when you come home for once?"

Levi dragged his index finger along the surface of one of the tables and pressed it against his thumb, disgusted. "Remind me to bring detergent next time," he said and rubbed the stickiness away at the thigh of his pants.

"I will not," she said immediately with a short laugh and a shake of her head. "You'll end up trying to deep clean the street too if you do."

Celeste placed the finished cups on a drying rack and patted her hands dry on her apron. She came around the corner to the main room and picked up Levi's bag, letting him handle the firewood.

At the back of the kitchen there's the start of a steep staircase leading up to Celeste's apartment. The wood was beginning to splinter at the edges and squeaked when he stepped on them. Levi cursed under his breath when he stumbled over the next step, too distracted by the details in the floor to make the extra effort with his bad leg. Celeste peered down, already at the top of the stairs.

"You okay, grandma?" she asked, grinning.

Celeste had been letting a stew boil throughout the day. Seeing that the fire was dying out by now, Levi bent down and stacked the firewood beside the stove, tossing two logs in as Celeste stirred the pot above him.

“You didn’t have to bring all that,” she said and Levi shook his head.

“I don’t want cold soup.”

They settled down at a wooden table so small that their knees brushed together when they pulled their chairs in. Celeste put down two bowls of stew for them and sat across from him. 

“It’s not like they have up top,” Celeste said, a little bit less chipper. Levi continued to eat, ignoring the comment. She went on, “You’d probably have been better off bringing something to eat. They have lots of people coming to this side now. It’s not as hard to get wood.”

“I’ll bring something next time,” he said. Celeste frowned.

“Only if you want to.” She let her spoon slosh around the stew. “And maybe you’d be more comfortable-”

“I’m comfortable." His gaze lifted to hers and she sighed. Their shared look was all they really needed to come to an understanding. Still, he knew sometimes she was embarrassed to have him stay there when he had a much better place up above.

She looked away, picking apart her whole apartment. It was made up of one room and a curtain to divide the bathroom from the rest of it. The ceilings had exposed rafters, but the head space only exaggerated her lack of actual belongings.

In the corner under the window was a small bed that they’d have to share for the night. At the foot was a chest containing all of her clothes and most of her belongings, save for a ratty book resting on the nightstand. Other than that, there was the wood-burning stove, table, and the two chairs they sat on. 

Levi, already knowing what she’s thinking, tried to interrupt her train of thought. "There's a place on top," he said. "One of the squad members has a relative selling their shop."

"That's nice."

Levi took a sip of the water, becoming reacquainted with that bitter aftertaste. They both know what he's playing at. This time, maybe, he'd finally convince her. "You'd like it." She sighed and shook her head, a clear rejection.

"Levi," she began. But he was ready to make his case even if it took the whole night.

"You wouldn't have to buy a new sign." She frowned at that.

It's quickly hidden, though, and she tried to laugh with what she said afterwards, "What makes you think I have enough money to buy a whole other place when I can't even afford a sign?"

It was an obvious answer to him, but she'd never have thought of it. Not because it was some genius idea, but because it was the last thing she'd accept. "I'll pay for it, obviously."

She scoffed. "Yeah. Obviously." Celeste stood with her half-finished bowl and Levi watched as she brought it to the sink. She bent over to the cabinet below the washbasin and took out a bottle of whiskey.

He breathed out a deep sigh at the sight.

"C'mon, it's time," she said a little more merrily at the change in subject. "It's tradition."

The bottle was set on the table along with two mismatching glasses. Celeste poured them both a full cup before sitting down. She could see Levi mulling over the drinks, ready to protest.

"Come on, Captain," she teased, pushing as much drama into the words as she could. He didn't like when she called him that, but she took some joy in that formality. It was like he was a different person, she said. But to him, it was just another reminder of his obligation to the Scouts. 

He scowled. "It's stupid," he said.

"Well it's not _for you_ ," Celeste countered and Levi looked at her. "It's for Furlan."

Every year, they would play their little game after dinner. It started the first year he came back. Celeste had gotten a letter about their upcoming visit and rushed to greet them at her door that morning. He had come alone.

She had pushed him to do something other than wallow and he was in too deep of a state to know he should refuse. They went back and forth, sharing the same bottle of whiskey - it was all the merchants sold, and they updated each other about their lives apart, guessing what the other has been doing between drinks.

At the time, it was just their decided upon way to grieve. Only as they did it each year did it become more like a game. The goal, simply and obviously, was to hold your liquor.

He sighed, yielding to her. "Good," she said, all smiles. "Now drink."

Levi looked at her, a question about to form, but she quickly interjected the would-be response.

"Unless that leg's perfectly fine," she said, an eyebrow raised. Her foot shifted and tapped his swollen ankle, making Levi pull away, trying to hide the subsequent wince. The reaction alone was enough for her to confirm it and he sighed, caught. The lip of the glass found its way to his mouth and he drank. "That's the spirit, grandma," Celeste said.

"Fuck off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will hopefully be updating every other week!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a little bit of smut at the end, but im a little unsatisfied with it so i might revise it later :)

The sound of the faucet running made Levi's stomach turn.

Celeste stood over the sink cleaning the dishes as Levi curled up in bed, hands settled at his stomach. The room felt like it was dancing around him, trying to get him to get up and dance with it or turn himself inside out in the process.

"Move over," Celeste said as she nudged his shoulder. Levi groaned in response, only moving slightly in the direction she was pushing him. She ended up having to step over him to get to the other side of the bed. Still a lightweight. "You've had three glasses," she reminded him, slipping under the covers and shifting closer. Eventually, her legs found his and one of her feet pressed against his ankles. Levi flinched and scrunched his face up.

"Cold," he said, but didn't move. His eyes opened slowly, only to look at her. The room was dim now and soon it will be up to just the two of them to keep each other warm. When he left for the rest of the winter, she'd have to pull out a heavy coat from the depths of her wooden chest to keep her warm at night.

Compared to the Underground, the Scout barracks were generous in their furnishings. His room had a fireplace, not just a stove across the room to hope for warmth from. His couch, his bed, and a table that could seat six - you could feel warmth from the fire from all of these places. Not like here where the warmth is as dim as the light it brought.

Levi closed his eyes again as he felt her arm move under the covers. It rested at his waist, a loose hook to keep him close. Not possessive, not a claim on him either. More like a hand to settle him - you're here now. It was always like this - he could feel his face get warm, so he thought it was that they were facing each other that made it too stuffy.

Celeste felt him switch to face away from her so she moved too, wrapping her arm around him, hand resting just below his chest. He sighed into the touch, and remembered now how it felt to be comfortable.

"You baby," Celeste said and he could hear the grin on her face when she said it. "Try and be more interesting next year and maybe you'll win."

"Shut up," he said carelessly.

"Want me to set you up with someone?" she teased.

"Go to sleep."

"It's the only way you'd win." Levi doesn't deny it. They were both too predictable that it wasn't hard to guess what the other was up to. The only real difference lay in who held their liquor better. Celeste was always too busy with the shop to do anything else and Levi was always in the middle of some drawn out mission his commander sent him on that he had nothing interesting to share either.

After a few minutes of quiet, Levi finally felt himself get a grip. His eyes opened to the dark apartment, seeing that it was a lot smaller than he remembered it to be. On the nightstand, he saw a small book. The spine looked worn, creased from use, but he never knew Celeste as a big reader - especially since there weren't many places to find books in their area. The side of it read, "The Inside Out House".

"What book is this?" he asked.

"I found it," she answered, already knowing what he was talking about. "Someone left it on one of the tables so I thought I'd keep it safe until they come looking for it. Thought I might as well keep it here and maybe I could read it too."

"What's it about?"

"I don't know -- There's a whole chunk in the back torn out so I never read past the first few pages." She sighed. "Maybe that's why they left it though, 's because it's missing pieces."

Levi closed his eyes again, feeling his stomach twist up into knots. "Fuck," he muttered. Celeste smoothed her thumb against the outside of his shirt. It might not have eased the pain but it said that she was there.

"Want me to help?" she asked and he groaned.

"Just be quiet," he said weakly and she smiled to herself in the dark. Levi tried to slow his breathing down to try and make his stomach follow suit, but it didn't help much.

"Hey," she said quietly. It was using so little of her voice that it was barely there, only a whisper. Levi turned to face her direction again. By now, his sight had adjusted and he could see the details in her face clearly. An eager expression, her lips pressed together as she thought carefully about what she was going to say. "Why haven't you kissed me yet?" she asked finally.

He blinked once. Then again. She didn't need to elaborate on it for him to understand. He said, "I don't know." Her eyes studied him, weighing the answer and her satisfaction with it.

There were moments between them he knew he could have kissed her. He would be washing teacups in the basin below and she would be drying them beside him, their elbows jabbed out with every other movement and they'd smile to themselves quietly. A kiss then, casually, would be all they needed to know what the other was thinking. But he never put it forth.

"You've thought about it, though?" His face was unmoving. He wouldn't lie, but he didn't want to answer either. Maybe it was cowardice - fear that he would lose her in some way if he made the wrong move. That the year after he'd done something out of place she'd turn him away. As if hearing his thoughts, she leaned in and let their lips touch. She knew it had to be her to do it - she'd have to give him the opening. If only to silence his worries, it worked. She pulled away, eyes searching for another answer.

He closed his eyes, breaking the pressure of hers on him. The idea never occurred to him until now, to act on what he wanted. Even if he had let his hands move on their own, they wouldn't dare anything more than to bring her close, her head against his chest, more warmth to bring them through the night.

"They said something's coming." There's worry there that he'd never heard her use before. The surface always brought news of danger to keep people in the Underground scared - to keep them down here.

"Who says?"

"I heard it last week. You're bringing that new recruit to the capital." Her fingers traced the wrinkles in the sheets between them, deep in thought. "They said it'll get dangerous. That we're safer down here."

"That's why you want to stay."

She shook her head. He knew the answer already. "Water's not getting any better," she said. "They need me." He'd always assure her that the news of the surface was much tamer than people made it out to be. That she'd have no problem if she were to move there, he could support the both of them on his paycheck now. But there's a sour taste that blooms in Levi's mouth with what she said next. Like Hange forcing him to drink one of their own concoctions they said was medicine to help him heal. "And they need you. Up there." It was a separation somehow, an attempted dismissal - she had moved him all the way across the room when really they could feel it become stuffy again with their breaths against each other's faces.

  
  


Levi woke with his legs already moving. They carried him across the room, towards the toilet where his knees crashed to the floor and his back arched as his stomach emptied into the bowl. He made no effort to conceal the noises - they were too used to their mornings starting this way anyways. Celeste would get up and follow him, still yawning as she ran her hand up and down his back, cold sweat forming on his temples. The sound of last night's dinner splatting on the ceramic made him want to crawl back to bed, back into the safety of her arms. But as his vision cleared up and focused on the bed on the far wall, he saw that Celeste was not there and he had, in fact, woken up to an empty apartment.

She returned just before noon, lugging two full bags of groceries up the staircase. Levi met her at the top of the steps, transferring the bags to his own hands and carrying them to the wobbling table.

"You went to town," he said, slipping out a package of bacon wrapped in butcher paper. He looked to Celeste, who was pulling out a cast-iron pan. She peered into the stove to see that it was rekindled and nodded.

"I wanted to make breakfast," she said simply, almost coldly.

Levi looked through the things she bought. He hadn't had meat since before the last Scout expedition - the cooks only served it on special occasions - or when they were heading into particularly dangerous territory. He knew Celeste couldn't afford much of it if any, but he knew better than to bring it up. Celeste eyed the bronze tin on the counter and raised an eyebrow at Levi.

"For me?" He nodded to that, unpacking the rest of her groceries to clear up the table. She scoffed. "Looks expensive."

"It wasn't."

"Yes, but it looks like it." She shrugged, not smiling. "Someone might break in wanting to sell it." She never talked like that. She never started mornings being this way. It was as if there was divide between them, but he shook off that feeling last night, so why was this here? Like a plastic wrap curtain drawn out so he couldn't see her fully.

When they sat to eat, the eggs had the same aftertaste as the water, metallic and earthy. He decided he wouldn't give her the chance to apologize for it and ate everything on his plate, even the bacon as sick as it made him feel pushing down his raw throat.

"Should we open?" he asked as he sipped his tea. The peach and ginger held off the taste of the water for a little longer than usual. Her shoulders went up to shrug again. At this point, he wanted to flat out ask her what he'd done.

"I was thinking of taking the day off." She never did that.

He frowned, thinking back to their conversation the previous night, words they could blame on being drunk and half-asleep. "After all that about the people needing it," he started. That gained him a look, but he only stared back at her.

Her fork is plopped onto her plate, her eggs and bacon a quarter of the way finished. "Happy birthday," she said and crossed her arms, but it sounded like an insult. His birthday was on the same day as Christmas, but they never spent it together. He'd always be called off to do something for Erwin that day, so they decided he would come to visit her at the beginning of winter to celebrate. He never let her do anything for it, insisting that it was enough that he visited, but she never had any real problem with it. Just said he was a killjoy and made him breakfast the morning he left.

"Thank you." He took a long sip of his tea, the warmth almost gone from it.

She watched him, looked him up and down like just doing this offended her. She scoffed and he raised an eyebrow. "I have a gift for you," she said after a long moment of them just staring at each other. "Will you let me give it to you?"

He hadn't even nodded completely before Celeste was on her feet and approaching him. The rate at which she moved startled him, making him push his chair away from the table, but that made it all the more easier for her to swing her leg across his lap and straddle him. His left thigh felt the pressure of her weight and his throat made a sound like a grunt punched out of him. It was silenced only by Celeste as she pressed her lips against his and the sound was easily overshadowed by the sounds she wanted him to make.

They parted and Levi took in a sharp breath, mostly from his leg. She kissed him again, testing and testing the waters. His hands automatically found her sides to hold her steady, but he wasn't sure if he would pull her in or push her away yet. His mind blanked and besides his hands, he had gone completely still. Her smell filled his nostrils - her soap and then it was of spending the morning at the market. He could only notice it while they were laying together at night - it was always faint enough that when he got back to his apartment, he could close his eyes and almost imagine he was back by the memory of it. Now it was here, so close to him. For what reason was she pressing herself against him, kissing from his lips to his neck, her hands working downwards - he had no idea.

She had undone the front of his pants and taken him out. His gaze lifted to hers, her hands moved to their own rhythm. His chest heaved up and down, breaths turning uneven.

"Fuck," he managed to say, her hand still working on him. She sat up straighter at that, and he felt her rhythm change. He gasped. "Fuck!" he blurted out. Embarrassed, his face flushed and he could feel the heat come onto his cheeks, up to the tips of his ears.

Celeste didn't tease him for it like she did for so many other things. He could see her eyes narrowed at the sight of him. It was maddening. He came undone just at the touch of her hand and she didn't say anything. No quick jabs or dirty jokes about how he was easy.

A feeling lurked inside him, it grew with every stroke, just as quickly as his need to release, but infinitely more sickening. Why was she doing this in the first place? Sweat dampened the underside of his clothes and he could feel the cold sticking to him. He was so close to the edge, but-

"Stop," he said weakly, as if he were about to take it back. Her hand slowed, unsure if she heard it right. The hands that were stuck to her hips, made their decision. "Stop," he said.

He pulled himself together, avoiding her gaze the whole time. As soon as she was off of him, she had gone to clear the plates off of the table as if nothing happened. He was still hard, cut off when he needed it most, but there was almost nothing he could do now. She looked at the awkward bulge in his pants and then at his face, almost sadly.

They could hear people get on with their lives outside of the apartment, crossing here and there at the street below. Celeste threw her dish towel into the sink with all of her might and leaned against the edge of the porcelain, he watched the tension shift in her back. "You still come here every year and," she paused, the thought almost being lost as she said it. "-is it cause you feel sorry for-"

"That's not why I come-"

"I want you to promise me," she said. "You're gonna win next year." The drinks they pour out for Farlan. He didn't understand why that mattered now, or what that even meant.

Dissecting her words took up the rest of the day. He had set up tables and chairs and wiped them down twice over as he thought about it. Before he knew it, he was being pushed out the front door by Celeste, carrying the bag with his now dirtied clothes in them. She had a wide grin on, as if the rest of the morning didn't happen.

It was only when she had said, "Remember our promise," that he realized it wasn't just his imagination. Her hands smoothed the front of his shirt and she took a long look at him, a mental picture to let her remember what he looked like in their time apart. He did the same, his lips coming up to a small smile.

"Off to work again," she said finally. "Be careful."

"I will." She smiled and pushed at his shoulders to get him off the front steps of the shop.

"Don't act so tough." A few of Celeste's regulars shoulder past Levi to get into the shop. She greeted them gladly, popping in a few apologies for her late open today.

Levi shoved a weighty pouch into her hands and she immediately put it into her apron pocket to avoid any prying eyes. She looked at Levi then, annoyed. He doesn't let her protest.

"You need a sign," he reasoned. She couldn't argue with that, but with the weight of the pouch, she knew he had given her much more than she needed for a piece of wooden decor.

"Thank you." It was a forced one, like when you're meant to say thank you for a too-tight, rashy, knitted sweater given to you on Christmas. But they both know she meant it.

"I'll write you," she said, but he could feel her ramping up to say something else. Not words, but almost as quick as it had come, Celeste had placed her lips against his and pulled away. "Be careful." She refused to meet his gaze, but she could see his nod in response to the words.

"Get a sign," he reminded her once more. And then his was body parting, stepping onto the road back.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also! i have edited the tags to include EruRi (Erwin x Levi) because... well, make with that what you will hehe


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long-ish chapter ahead!! (contains spoilers for season 1, episodes 22-25)

Levi's arrival was no cause for celebration.

As he walked back to the barracks, there were no claps on his back or cheers of approval. For all their efforts, rank and reputation in the Scouts Regiment held no real glory.

If he were to walk around in uniform there were sure to be sneers - something about being a waste of taxes, but those weren't things he often listened to.

  
  


Having more than one Scout Regiment meant that sometimes his team was inactive for a season. Therefore, some of the Scouts were provided housing within Wall Sina.

At first, it was used as an incentive to join. Its goal was to have the same appeal that joining the Military Police carried, where cadets could enjoy the protection of the innermost wall when they were off-duty. Despite this, they were rarely used, seeing that most of the members had family in other districts they would rather stay with.

As a captain, Levi had his duties to report to in the capital, which forced him to take permanent residence in the barracks, but his visits to Celeste were more than enough for him to understand the others not wanting to stay.

Much of what he had to do was paperwork, which he always felt wasted time and energy he could be spending helping at the shop. He always completed all of it in one sitting so he didn't have to bother with it later, pulling all-nighters in his room or holed up in a corner in Erwin's apartment.

When he looked up, sometimes it would be morning and Erwin would be in a deep slumber on the other side of the room. And if it wasn't filling out forms, there was always some secret task Erwin pulled him aside to do. But he was tired of secret missions.

  
  


By the time he arrived at his apartment, he was already missing Celeste's bed, small as it may be. Erwin had entered his room at some point as he was putting away his dirty clothes.

There was no hard look on his face, but Levi was bracing himself for being reprimanded as soon as he stepped in.

"Where were you?" Erwin asked upon entry. He was holding a thin stack of paper in his hands. Levi closed his closet doors and went to put a kettle on the stove for tea.

"I had business to attend to," he answered. The papers in Erwin's hands became more apparent.

Erwin sighed and sat at the table in the center of the room. It didn't rattle when he rested his elbows on it like Celeste's would have.

"This business," he started. "You had to take care of it in the Underground?" Something disapproving in that tone he used. Granted, the Underground housed hardened people, citizens who were desperate enough to do anything - it's not to be taken lightly when an esteemed officer descends the Stairway.

Levi looked at him, eyes narrowed, lips a straight line. "Does it matter?"

Erwin matched the gaze, his jaw set firmly as they carried on. It wasn't an answer, but it was enough. They trusted each other that much at least, that if Levi assured him it was nothing to worry about, they wouldn't give it a second thought.

The papers were laid on the center of the table. Levi took his seat across from Erwin with his fresh cup of tea and turned the reports so he could read them properly.

"News on the Female Titan," Erwin summarized.

–

Later that evening, Levi found a place in the emptied mess hall, with a new cup of tea. The taste of lemon and ginger woke him up as the warmth spread into his body. Eren joined him and sat at the other end of the table.

"They're so slow," Levi said, mostly to himself. He sipped his tea, noting how Eren looked at him nervously. "Erwin must be constipated or something."

"Did something good happen?" Levi looked at him and there's an obvious moment where Eren regretted asking. "It's just… you're talking more than usual today."

"I've always talked like this," Levi said and turned his attention back to his tea. He'd have to get himself another one soon, he realized, and went to push his chair away from the table.

In his left thigh, he felt a twang in the muscle and he had to pause to let the pain pass. Eren is about to say something - an apology maybe, considering the injury came from when Levi and Mikasa saved him during their last mission.

But they heard someone at the door and then Eren was standing at Erwin coming through. Levi remained seated as the rest of their group filed in. Armin, Jean, and Mikasa slowly took places at the table, all of them looking worn out.

"Apologies for the delay," Erwin said.

A map is spread out in front of them, already fashioned with markings. Everyone was handed a report of their plans for the Female Titan.

Much of it was what Erwin explained to him earlier that day: that they suspected the Female Titan to be in the Stohess District and that she was believed to be in the Military Police Brigade. This was news to Eren. That, along with the idea that she had been part of the 104th Training Corps - the same one they were from, shocked him.

"-Annie Leonhart," Erwin said. But Eren was quick to doubt this information. He asked for proof and was immediately met with Armin explaining his findings - all of them pointing to Annie. Still, Levi could see the big risk they were taking in trusting the speculation of one cadet.

"We know all of this already," he said. Armin looked at him, caught off guard - he was so sure of his evidence that he thought it couldn't be refuted. "What else do you have on her?"

He realized Celeste was right to think he was a different person here, but he was tied to Erwin like the rest of them, committed to his cause as if it were his own. He recognized the tone he used sometimes, so much like Furlan barking out instructions over the sound of the Underground whizzing past. He wasn't made to be a leader for these people. And yet.

Armin had been quiet after the question. Levi tossed his papers onto the table and crossed his arms, wishing he got up before they were all seated to make himself another cup of tea.

"So the only evidence we have is your word?"

–

The knife left his grip swiftly, sharp end lodging itself into the side of a tree trunk. Levi took in a breath as another knife replaced the one he threw.

Without another thought, it was sent flying in the same direction, landing just an inch to the left of the other one. After three more, Levi made the walk toward his target to retrieve the blades.

The edge of the woods was someplace Levi frequented when he couldn't take being cooped up in his apartment anymore. The cool breeze carried his warm breath away as he practiced his aim alone in the dark. Sometimes he'd even spend nights walking the forest path to see if he could find his way back before morning light.

The difference in air quality here compared to the heavy air sitting stagnant in the Underground was brutal - coming back, it was almost like learning to breathe again.

When Levi was returning to his place a few yards away from the tree, he noticed the shadow of a man sitting in the swaying grass. Erwin's square shoulders were unmistakable. So he would cast his discipline after all.

Levi didn't greet him, just stood back to where he was and threw his knives back at the tree. Erwin didn't interrupt, just watched, and soon Levi was retrieving his knives again.

"It's past your bedtime, Commander," Levi said after taking his stance again. His first knife hit the tree with a surety to it.

Much like Celeste, he didn't use the honorific with him often, always said with a tinge of sarcasm in their private conversations. But unlike Levi, Erwin never insisted on using it or not. 

"What's wrong?"

"What you said about there not being evidence…"

Levi sighed. He didn't care about this. "Whatever you want me to do…" Another knife went into the tree. "Just say it."

"You shouldn't have left yesterday." There it is. "People were asking for you."

"Who?"

"Higher ups."

Levi turned to look over his shoulder at Erwin. He was staring directly at him, he was probably staring at his back this whole time. Levi threw another knife at the tree. "There's no one higher up than you."

Erwin frowned. At this point he expected Levi to always answer back, to always have some kind of cynical thing to notice - it didn't mean that there was anything behind it, not hate or malice.

But he felt differently about this. He pressed on, "Your squad, specifically."

"So tell them I was doing something for you." _As I usually am_ , he thought.

A pause.

"Very well." Levi had to look at him when he heard it.

Erwin was no liar. And he'd never risk his reputation, especially on such a useless lie. This, no matter how small or inconsequential it was, Erwin was strict on. People thought he was an able leader, but no one would follow someone who lied to his own comrades.

There were two more knives in Levi's resting hand. He gripped one over and over, to prepare for another throw.

The knife left his hand with ease, but bounced off the trunk he threw it at. He frowned at the result, leaving his place to retrieve his blades a knife too early. Erwin kept his place and Levi restarted this round, starting with the knife that bounced.

"You'll be with me in Stohess."

That time, it hit the trunk cleanly. "Is that an order?" Levi glanced at him before preparing another knife in his hand.

"Commander" suited him - his look, his stance, the way he carried himself, it was the profile most fitting. Men only followed people who looked as upright and righteous as Erwin did when he was calling orders out to his officers.

Sometimes Levi waited for him to use that authority over him, to show that the power had gotten to him, inflated his ego, made him think that he could take the world if he wanted to. It was only a matter of time.

Erwin shook his head. "No," he said.

Levi frowned. He asked it often, but it was always no. He wondered if he had the gall to refuse one of Erwin's orders when he finally gave him one.

Another round of knives passed. Levi sat beside Erwin once he retrieved them again, feeling the night settle him down finally.

"Have you heard of _The Inside Out House_?" he asked, rubbing his thumb at the scratches in the knives. Erwin didn't answer immediately, probably trying to rack his brain for the title, but he nodded.

"Yes," he said. "My father told it to me when I was a child."

_The Inside Out House_. A young man obsessed over building the home his future family was going to live in. He planned the house to house a wife and three children, and even a dog to keep them safe.

He even came up with names for them. "I'd like it if she had a strong name. I always think 'Francis', but she can be named anything at all and I'd still love her!" the man said.

The same couldn't be said about his house. He had extensive plans and preparations, constantly coming up with new ways to do things, but his obsession turned unhealthy. He felt that people no longer understood what his vision was.

Finally, he was getting to adulthood and began to build the house, despite everyone telling him to wait and think about the soundness of his design first - everyone had told him the house looked as if it were turned inside out. But he didn't listen to anyone and soon, everyone grew tired of warning him and eventually left him be.

After years and years of working on this house, it was finished. The paint was exactly the shade he imagined when he first drafted it, there was a three panel window for his wife to sit in the afternoons, none of the floorboards creaked, and he even put a 'beware of dog' sign on the fencing outside.

So the man sat in the kitchen and looked around the house to take a satisfied look at his work. But then, he saw something wrong - a misplaced nail in a beam in the roof. The house had to be perfect, so the man stood, but he found that he could no longer stand. His legs gave way, allowing him to fall to the floor.

He was old now, he realized, too old. And there was no one there to help him up. He died on the floor, only found days later. Little did he know that the nail was exactly where he meant to place it - that it was due to his wild planning that made it look so unorthodox.

It was a perfect house, exactly how he planned it. But he had not considered his mistake - that he missed the chance to create the family meant to live there with him.

Levi took in the story as Erwin told it. He thought of Celeste and her small apartment. How she couldn't possibly raise a family there. She'd have to spend money on a bigger bed - and another one for a growing child. Her family couldn't fit on the small one she had now. She'd have to buy more firewood too, to keep the house warm-

"Why do you ask?" Erwin asked, interrupting Levi's train of thought. He shook his head.

"Saw someone reading it." Next year, he'd try to convince her again. She would refuse, again, but he'd get her out of there one day if it was the last thing he ever did.

–

The Survey Corps' convoy passed through the main roads of the Stohess District. Armin, Eren, and Mikasa, disguised themselves as porters and convinced Annie to lead them through the city to escape Eren's sentence at the capital.

The Military Police had received orders to guard the Survey Corps until they reached the capital, but many of the officers questioned why there was a need for such high security. This was again, Erwin's doing. Levi was always surprised people trusted him as much as they did for how little he told them.

Eventually, his plan had seen light and the head of the Military Police, Nile Dok was his name, ended up raising his rifle to him in the middle of the street.

"This is treason!" he screamed.

"You don't even know what's happening," Levi said immediately following.

Erwin was in the middle of securing his ODM gear to his waist, suiting up to assist in the capture of the Female Titan. Nile denied the possibility of a titan being inside Wall Sina. Being the innermost wall, it was preposterous for it to be true. But here they were, a distant rumbling signaling the city's destruction.

"Remove your equipment!" he commanded, but Erwin held his ground.

A flash of yellow lightning blinds them for a second and the sound of thunder cracked through the air. Erwin glanced at Levi, who returned the look, here was where the fight began. Two officers rushed towards Nile, shouting about two titan battling each other.

He pointed his rifle at Erwin again and Levi wondered if his arm was getting tired yet. "Is this your doing?!"

Erwin didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes." His shoulders are pulled back and squared - he's so sure of himself that Levi wouldn't be surprised if Nile pulled the trigger on him right then. "Everything done is on my command. I don't intend to make excuses." _What an idiot_.

Nile's face fell with his gun. He's desperate, probably thinking of his family somewhere within the walls. It was Levi who was known to be too blunt sometimes, easily putting people off with his words, but it was Erwin who would often speak without a second thought. Again, the gun was up.

"I could _kill_ you right now!" he yelled. Levi crossed his arms so they wouldn't move on their own towards the blades strapped to Erwin's thighs. 

"I'm in your hands," Erwin said, face cool even when it was at the end of Nile's gun. It was probably infuriating for Nile to see it happen, the grace at which Erwin accepted his immediate defeat. "But then, Stohess will be in _yours_ if you do."

Nile's mouth dropped open and Levi had to hold back a scoff, knowing it would earn him a displeased look from his commander, but Nile was wasting time with all this talk.

Erwin was handcuffed. "The courts will decide," Nile said, a new tone of responsibility and duty filling his words. There were three officers left. Levi could take them. They could continue with the mission and be done with this. But Erwin gave him a look - _stand down_.

There is the sound of crackling stone in the near face of the wall. Erwin and Levi look at the scene, unphased. The Female Titan had hardened her fingers into claws and had begun climbing up the stone. Eren, powered by the stakes of the battle, had latched onto her legs. His form was wild, untamed, and Levi recognized the chaos.

"Shit," he said under his breath. Erwin looked at him. Levi waited for the go-ahead, but all that comes is Erwin's stare.

Levi's hands gripped into fists as he held himself still. Annie began to kick at Eren's face and from Eren came a series of angry roars. Levi gives one last look to Erwin. _I'm deciding for the both of us_. 

His ODM gear was on and then he was off. Annie and Eren had fallen from the wall, though Eren was too possessed by his titan form that he had ripped the head from Annie's titan, prepared to eat the girl inside. Levi's on his neck then, slicing the boy out.

"Idiot," he said, ripping him away from the titan's muscly flesh by the back of his shirt. "Don't eat our valuable witness."

And before they knew it, Annie was crystalizing herself, putting a close to all of their efforts to retrieve her. 

They all gathered to look at the aftermath: titan bodies decaying post-battle. Eren's titan had already begun to fall apart, the massive ribs revealing themselves through the smoke. Some of the Scouts crowded near the hardened shell that remained after Annie's body melted away. They could see her through the facets as if she were asleep.

Jean hacked the tip of his blades against the surface, the end of it chipping until he reached the hilt, to no avail. He called her name, wanting the face beneath the translucent crystal to wake.

"Annie!" he screamed. He was about to stab the surface again but there was no more blade for him to use. Levi put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stop," he said.

Jean looked at his captain over his shoulder, hand still high in the air as he prepared to make another attempt. Levi's face was as still as ever, but his anger was just as obvious.

"It's pointless."

Jean gritted his teeth and looked away, ashamed, realizing he was the one making the most commotion. His hand lowered.

Despite the events that day, despite Nile's arrest, Erwin made his case to the superior officers, resulting in his immediate release. As for Annie, she was to be tucked away, locked up until they could figure out how to get to her.

Things were settled, but it wasn't a win. The pain was back in Levi's leg.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note about the timing of everything! im spacing these chapters out to happen over the course of a year even though in canon they basically take place on the same day


	4. Chapter 4

Celeste only sent a letter every month or so. Levi read them as soon as he got them, excusing himself from the room if the courier had interrupted a meeting or gotten the envelope to him in the middle of a meal.

It was always the same kinds of things that she wrote about. Things about the shop, her regulars, the deals she got on things in the market, the faucet that started leaking last week. It was the only thing that calmed Levi's mind in the middle of work.

She'd always make her problems seem small, chalking all of them up to minor inconveniences that she could fix herself and that he shouldn't worry about hurrying down to fix on her behalf. This month, her toilet was on the fritz, the plumbing hummed and gurgled in the walls at night. She said she had already gotten used to it and that if she fixed it she wouldn't be able to sleep because it would be too quiet.

It was already Christmas when the letter came and Levi had already sent her gift off. Another tin of tea - a green blend she mentioned, and a new copy of _The Inside Out House_ , no pages torn. It took him weeks to track down the tea she talked about and even longer for the book.

Erwin had mentioned to him one day that the book had been banned, all of the copies ordered to be burned. He knew this because his father was a teacher and he'd seen many books in his household thrown into a fire pit throughout his life. But that was only because his father held onto theories and questions the King had a distaste for.

Many of the questions his father had, Erwin had as well. The most important being about what lay beyond their walls. How did they know that the only humans in existence were the ones within the walls? A dangerous question, indeed. His father paid the price for it, but Levi had never asked for the full story.

He thought about sending a letter with it, but decided against it as he did every time. Once, he tried to sit down with a pen and paper, but nothing came to mind when he thought on what he should say. If it weren't for that, it was his handwriting.

There was no real purpose for writing in the Underground. It was a fruitless expense considered there were no jobs that required it - none that paid well. So Levi never formally learned. Above ground, this lack of knowledge was noticeable, especially to the Commander that received all of his reports.

Erwin was the one to inch him towards learning. He would offer to teach him in the late hours if need be, once his later meetings were finished. Levi would still be awake by then too, but the whole idea was embarrassing enough as it is that if it weren't for him wanting to write Celeste back, he would have refused every time.

He would have probably deemed it pointless, told Erwin that if he wanted someone to sit around and write all day then he would have recruited someone else. A loose dare. To leave him be with his chicken scratch handwriting or discharge him from the Scouts entirely.

But Erwin was patient, always accepting it with a smile when Levi brushed him off. He would offer again, be met with denial, and then try again later. Eventually, Levi found himself in Erwin's room every night, huddled over the wide table in the middle of the room until daybreak, copying the words Erwin had instructed him to.

"It's good," Erwin would say when he woke in the morning as he scanned the papers he had his name scrawled on. Levi would catch himself holding his breath in the moments between Erwin rolling out of bed and giving him his approval.

There would be a low heat on his cheeks and he felt so childish having to learn something like this from him. Yet another weakness for him to play on if he wanted. But Erwin never said anything else. Just yawned as he put the papers down and retrieved his towel to go and get ready for his day at the bathrooms down the hall.

Levi never told Celeste about these lessons, or how even after he learned how to write well enough, he would keep going to Erwin's room to finish his paperwork for the day and they would sit across from each other working in silence.

Celeste had learned to read and write when she was young, her parents thinking it was something essential for her to know. But even if she didn't learn that way, he wouldn't be surprised if she was able to get one of her many regulars to teach her. She admitted that a good number of them offered to help her with things around the apartment. When something was broken, they wouldn't hesitate to run to her aid. That was just how much they cared for her there, he guessed. That's just how much she was needed.

But for him, above ground... When they had gotten back to the barracks from their scene at Stohess, everyone had retreated into their separate rooms to fall into their beds and sleep the rest of the week off. Levi, restless, had gotten up the next day and continued to carry on around the barracks, for his midnight strolls and target practice especially.

Following suit were the younger squad members, who were eager to move on from the devastation of the city. Armin, Eren, and Mikasa bounced back on their feet with the help of the rest of their friends and Levi smiled when he saw them fighting over food again in the mess hall. But no one had seen Erwin come from his room.

Some of the cadets inquired about him through Levi, who admitted he didn't know either. It was a lie, though. Because Levi knew there were times he needed to spend in solitude, usually following expeditions beyond the wall. To brood, maybe, or to mourn. It was something that all of the Scouts did in one way or another, especially after losing their friends. 

But this mission was different. Out of all of them, Erwin held the most responsibility over the lives lost in Stohess. They meant nothing to him, or so he tried to make people believe. Believe that he cared more about finding the truth about the titans, about the wall, more than the lives of innocent people. But no one, not even Erwin, could pretend the weight of all those lives didn't take a toll after a while.

Levi would pass his apartment, wondering if he should enter, afraid of what he might find. He didn't know what Erwin looked like without his broad shoulders, pulled back in confidence and that disarming stare. He wouldn't know what to say, or how to ask what he could do. So he left him be.

One week became two, then became three. No one had seen Erwin, not even the cadets on kitchen duty had seen him. Something dropped in him hearing that. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't. But why would he? No, he couldn't.

Levi rushed to Erwin's apartment, clenched hand pausing before it knocked. His knuckles tapped the wood twice.

"Erwin," he called, feeling his body go stiff with anticipation. No answer. He raised his hand to go again, but only got one knock in before the door swung open, Hange standing in the dim room.

"Levi," they said, eyes widened with surprise. As if he had been an old friend visiting them. A voice called from behind them, from where he knew Erwin's bed was.

"Who is it?" Hange looked towards the voice, shoulder shifting enough for Levi to see him sitting in bed with a mess of papers around him. His stubble had grown in, making him look rougher than usual, but other than that he looked perfectly normal. Not brooding, not grieving, not like he'd gone three weeks without a meal. Just like he skipped his morning shave that day.

Hange closed the door a little, as if they revealed too much at the moment they greeted him. "Levi," they answered.

A silence then. Levi couldn't see him anymore - couldn't tell what he was thinking. But there's a shuffling of papers, a carrying on of work, and then he spoke.

"Tell him I'm busy."

Hange looked back at Levi, a sorry look on her face. Her lips spread into a sympathetic smile and she shrugged towards the sound of the voice. "He's…"

He nodded quickly, before they could say anything else and left towards his apartment at the other end of the hall.

Levi took to practicing his aim against his usual tree that night, each knife hitting the tree more bitterly than the last. He retrieved the knives and started again, throwing harder, faster. And again. His chest tightened remembering Hange's face when they were about to dismiss him. What was it, pity? All it did was make him feel worse, like they were trying to lessen the blow of something. _Tell him I'm busy._

He didn't feel like practicing anymore, so he sat on the grass and stared at his knives stuck to the tree, the reflection of the moon letting him see them across the distance. Maybe he hoped Erwin would see him from his apartment. That he would join him out at the edge of the woods shortly and they would sit there quietly. Or he would talk about the next of his plans or Levi would find a way to ask for another one of the stories from his father.

Levi stood to get his knives back, pulling them out one by one thinking about what Erwin had said. Not even to him, but to Hange. _Tell him I'm busy_. A dismissal. His hand came down, knife in grip, and he stabbed the tree trunk. He wedged it out and did it again. And again.

He sat on the grass again. Erwin was busy. So Levi waited.

It had been two months since then.

There were sighs of relief throughout the barracks when Erwin finally emerged from his room. Levi saw him at breakfast in the morning, his face shaved clean, hair fixed neatly on his head. He looked as he normally did, talked with people like he hadn't been gone the past months.

"Morning!" Hange called as they sat across Levi. Their tray sported a full breakfast, eggs, toast, and even sausage. The cook was in a good mood, maybe.

"Good morning."

"Erwin's looking better," they said with a big grin and they both looked across the hall to their Commander, talking with the juniors that were snooping around his absence. Still looking in his direction, Hange added, "He didn't mean to be rude, he just had a rough day."

Levi doesn't answer that.

"He's so lazy sometimes. He asked me to bring his meals up and all his work." Hange puffed their chest out and exhaled loudly. "I asked him why he didn't just ask you and he said you were busy doing other things." His eyes narrowed at that. Hange recognized the confusion. "What?"

Levi shook his head. "Nothing." He hurried to finish his breakfast after seeing that Erwin was just about finished talking and was scanning the mess hall for someplace to sit. He lifted a hand at them and only Hange nodded in his direction for him to come over. Goodbyes were said between him and the younger cadets. Levi stood.

"Finished?" Hange asked, eyebrows raised. "Stay with us a little bit."

He gathered his plate and utensils, knowing Erwin was approaching and said, loud enough for him to hear, "I'm busy."

He had to pass Erwin on the way out, but only gave him a small nod in greeting. Erwin did the same, but Levi could've sworn there was disapproval in that face, like what he looked like in Stohess. It made him suddenly feel like practicing his aim again.

Levi ended up sitting at the table in his apartment with a new letter from Celeste. He laid it flat, right beside his own blank paper that he planned to write his response on. He wanted to tell her about the woods near the barracks, how good it felt to breathe there when he went walking at night. He wanted to say that the moon was bright last night and that she should come and visit him instead one year to see it for herself. None of it sounded like him, he knew, but they were the things she wanted to hear most about the world on top.

There was a harsh knock on the door and Levi snapped back into himself at the sound. In front of him, the page was still blank. He sighed and stood to open the door, seeing Hange standing outside, out of breath and sweating through their uniform. News.

The bells on Wall Sina were still ringing. There was someone approaching on horseback - a Scout. He had come off his horse, immediately demanding the location of Commander Erwin. He came bearing a message - titans had broken through Wall Rose.

"What are we supposed to make of this, Sir?" one officer asked. They were in Erwin's office, Erwin brooded about the new situation. He was looking out his window when he heard Levi enter.

"They never give us a break, do they," Levi said, not addressing the other officer with them.

Erwin turned to see him. "Can you go?" he asked.

Levi entered further, nearing his desk. "Not like there's much choice."

The officer pitched in. "It was wise to have Section Commander Miche watch the 104th," he said. "He'll be able to handle it."

Levi wished that he would just leave, honestly, instead of trying to lighten the situation. Erwin turned to face the window again.

"Yes," he said. "Let's hope so."

The officer was given new orders to seek out new information of the front lines in Wall Rose. He was to spread Erwin's order to the other Scouts that everyone must be on high alert should they need to mount their horses and lead an assist. The officer made sure to note everything down on paper and Levi watched him as he left, sighing at the closed door.

"What're you gonna do now?" he asked, staring at Erwin's back. He was still spacing out at the window.

There was enough silence for Levi to know that the question would be ignored, so he sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk, planning to wait til Erwin got onto telling him what his next plan would be.

"Annie's still in that shell," he said. Erwin turned from the window and sat at his desk, not responding to the update, so Levi continued his report. "Hange's been in her office looking at some rock. She hasn't showered in a week, so maybe we should-"

"How's your leg?"

Levi's eyes narrowed at the question. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Healed."

"Completely?"

Levi scoffed, as if the answer didn't matter, but Erwin was looking at him now. There was a shadow of a feeling that came onto his left leg sometimes. Even now he could feel it. But this was a conversation that should've happened months ago. It didn't matter then, so why pick the fight now?

"You shouldn't have gone off on your own."

Levi frowned. "If I hadn't," he started. "You'd be in the capital right now."

"Now you walk with a limp because of it."

"My legs are fine. I'm not a cripple."

Erwin's fist came down against the surface of his table, making his pens rattle around in their holder. "But you _will_ be if you keep acting on your own!" Levi had to pause at the outbreak. His hands felt warm and he squeezed them into fists as he stood. 

"I already said I'm _fine_ ," he hissed. "I've _been_ fine for the past three months while you were fucking around."

Erwin got to his feet too. He came around the corner of his desk and grabbed Levi by the collar of his shirt. Suddenly, he couldn't find his footing. Erwin held him up, only the balls of Levi's feet left to steady themselves on the floor. What was this?

"You're no longer in the Underground," he said through his teeth, voice low. "Don't be so reckless." At that, he released Levi and took a step away, realizing his overreaction. "It worries me," he said. "When you're away." He spoke differently now. His hand brushed against the edge of his chin as if having to be delicate about everything he was saying.

"What are you talking about?" Erwin sank slowly into one of the chairs near his desk and ran a hand along the back of his neck. Awkward, frustrated. "You lied to Hange," Levi said to break the silence. "Told them I've been busy." Erwin chuckled and shook his head.

"We agreed that's what we'd tell people." But Levi frowned. Erwin's gaze lifted to him and he shrugged. "When you had business to take care of."

"But I was in my room."

"What?"

"I was in my room," Levi said immediately. "I was waiting- What did you think I was doing? I was waiting for you to tell me to do something!" He didn't know where that edge came from in his voice. Maybe it was three months waiting for him - anything from him. But it was three months of not speaking. No orders, no secret tasks.

Erwin's face was blank as he stared at Levi, who had to keep himself still by clenching his hands into fists. He didn't understand why he was so angry right now, especially over nothing.

"You didn't go to the Underground?"

"What?" Levi said. "Why would I go there?"

Erwin rose from the chair slowly, eyes searching him as if fact checking what he had just said. "I thought…," but he corrected himself. "You leave for it right after we get back from Expeditions."

"It's none of your business what I do in my free time."

Erwin frowned then and straightened his back. Pulled his shoulders back. Suddenly he was the Commander again. "It's... frowned upon," he said. "For Scouts to participate in-"

He was cut short as Levi exhaled a big breath and rubbed a hand over his mouth. He hadn't known about Celeste - not about her shop, not that Levi knew her, not that she existed. What did he want, exactly?

"Are these your orders, Commander?"

Eventually, they won't remember how they ended up like this, Levi balancing at the edge of Erwin's desk, legs spread for him. Levi won't recall the way Erwin had pressed against him, kissed him, reached down between them. He won't remember when he started wanting it.

The beginnings of things like this were so often forgotten - lost in the aftermath of heated sighs and quick fucks. But even if Levi could remember it, he wouldn't want to.

He'd try to rationalize it too much. Say it was two people finding something like release in each other. Overworked, overdone. For if he remembered the beginnings, he would eventually come to the realization that the start of it was long before this first night.

That Erwin had always lingered a second longer in his presence, but that Levi's skull was too thick to understand why. That there was always a side glance at him whenever they were around people - one that he would return with a nod, as if he were fully understood.

Erwin would take his hand casually when he made Levi trace his words in his apartment, look at it as if inspecting their gear before battle, or like he was trying to find some prophecy in the lines of his palm, but there was no note on it afterwards, he just held it, looked, and moved on.

Why did he not just hold him, just a little further? Held him to let him know what this meant? Why, in all of the years he'd stood by his side had there not been a word out of place - a command in bad taste - to let him know this?

He guessed it didn't matter if he did those things now that they were here. Or, that maybe if it did happen, he had forgotten.

They heard the bells on Wall Sina ring. Erwin kissed him, a rough happening too fast too soon. And then there was anger in Levi somewhere - a curse at the act, saying: where had this been before? Why hadn't you done it then, when we had the time?

"I didn't think-," he began softly.

"What?"

He tried again. "I didn't think you wanted-." He stopped himself, unsure if it was appropriate for him to say it at all.

"What- you?" Erwin's chest rose and fell as he chuckled. "Well I did- I do."

Levi's face flushed. "We have to get ready soon," he reasoned, noticing through the window that the torches were already being set aflame at the main gate. 

Erwin dismissed the idea with a kiss to his neck. Levi held back a gasp, much to Erwin's disappointment.

"So tell me to stop," Erwin said, his voice rumbling against his skin. A challenge. But Erwin stopped on his own accord and straightened himself up. The air felt empty between them now.

It was a serious question, "Do you- want me to stop?"

Levi stared at his face, those harsh eyes and his sturdy jaw. It was tense, from his teeth clenching down on each other. But it was also such a boyish thing to see in front of him, the face of his commander asking him for permission.

He knew it wasn't something he'd see often, but now was no time to relish in that authority. He didn't want it anyways. They could die this next mission as they could on any other. Too similar to being one of those last-two-people-on-earth situations Hange always brought up.

They were desperate, grasping at each other, he didn't know what for, but it was plain to see that it was something they could find in each other right at that moment.

He pulled Erwin by his collar and their lips crashed into each other. Erwin steadied himself on the desk as he leaned into Levi's touch.

Their hands scrambled to their pants, undoing only as much as they needed. Erwin took him into his hand, and Levi's breath caught in his throat. He remembered Celeste and what had happened between them. Him telling her to stop, pushing her away. That sad look she gave him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, but Erwin's hand slowed and he was reminded again of Celeste and now annoyed, he glared at Erwin. "Don't stop." Erwin just laughed and kissed his neck again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok honestly Levi's leg problem isn't funny but him not being able to walk for different reasons in this chapter was so funny to think about while writing . anyways, thank you to everyone who's been reading so far! i'll be keeping the smut pretty tame at least for now >:) im also uploading super early since there wont be a new chapter for a little bit !!


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